"You're worst battle is between what you know and what you feel".
Saturday, 20th April 2013.
Jade's point of view.
It's been two days since i haven't got any news from Harry. The last time I saw him wasn't that good. And i'm feeling a bit embarassed that we had to end up our last conversation before he goes back on tour... in a fight.
It's itching me to send him a damn message for having an explanation about what happened. But somewhere in my damn mind, it's saying me to let him alone. He probably needs to figure it out too. He's as confused as I am. Clearly. Duh.
"Jade! Let's do this again ! You ain't concentrate enough!" Danielle shouts. Her voice's echoing into my ears.
3 hours. 3 hours that we're rehearsaling for the next wednesday show. I'm so tired and i really don't want to rehearsal. I'm not in a good mood right now and i just want to be under my covers and hide myself for the rest of my life.
" Ok! Let's go! Three... two... One. And ! Hop hop hop !"
I'm trying to follow every single step she's making. No way, she's going too fast!
"Come On Jade! Be effective!
"I'm doing my best Danielle Okay? I'm sorry for not being as good dancer as you !" I start to cry even if it's for nothing. I'm not good. Something is hampering me.
There is the reason of my tears, this voice. I turn around and see harry who's looking at me with widened eyes. This is probably because he saw some tears dropping on my cheeks.
I look at Danielle and she says me to go seeing him.
"5 minutes of break guys!" She shouts.
I run at him, breathless.
"Hey..." I just add, looking at my feet. I think i'm a bit mad he didn't give me some news. But i'm a bit relieved to see him again. So i smile at him.
"I'm here to say goodbye to you. I'm coming back on Tour." He simply adds, Looking straight at me.
I raise my eyes and let them dive into his, disappointed for not seeing him much longer.
Everyone is looking at us with wonder, but we both barely take attention, too much concentrated about our near distance separating our two bodies from each other. I have this extreme urge to hug him tight into my arms. I notice his sad look. He's not good. He's shaken.
"I'm about to head the airport. I'll call you soon." He finally says. He puts his hand over my side and let a soft kiss over my forehead before he turns back and go out of the hall.
After rehearsing. I go out of the building and decide to visit Navy since it's been like forever i've seen her. No paparazzi in the offing, the London streets are quite calm. I walk down the avenue and pass some places. Few people recognize me and ask me for some autographs that i accept.
I smile at them and sign some papers.
"Jade you're so beautiful!" A teenage girl says to me.
"Oh thank you sweetie !"
"Can i have a hug?" she shyly asks.
"Oh. Of course! come here! Awww" I hug her and then she retires herself from me, tears falling down. "Oh why are you crying?" I ask paniked "Nothing. Um... You just made my day!" I smile even more. "You are like my new idole. I see you every wednesday and support you from the beginning!"
"Oh thank you, you're so nice!" I hug her one more time, tears appearing in my eyes that tingle them.
I step back and wave my hand to say goodbye keeping on the way to Navy's.
Arriving at Navy's. I knock like three time before she decides to open.
"You weren't going to open the door, were you?" i laugh.
"OOPS. Sorry Jaddie i was studying" she says, fully smiling. "I missed you so much!!!" She hugs me and lets me come inside.
We sit down on the couch. She's raising an eyebrow.
"What?" I innocently ask.
"Nothing! Just wanted to see you!"
"Liar. Tell me what's up." She widely smiles. Navy is pretty good at guessing when something is going on. Grrrr.
"Liaaaaaaar. Come on!!! Tell me! I know there's something! With a certain Harry Styles!!!!"
"What?" I get my eyes widened.
"Come on girl! I've seen on Twitter an article about you and Harry!! He was leaving your house, early in the morning few weeks ago." she winks at me.
I stop looking surprise even though i tried to lie. I throw a pillow over her and laugh.
"Hello Mr Sherlock. I'm fine thanks for asking!" She sighs. "Okaaay. I'll tell you."
"Yaaaay. Go ahead."
"Harry came at my house two days ago..."
"Oh God!! Why? are you both together? did you kiss? oh no! Have you both..."
"What?" I'm shocked."NO! Ewk.... NAVY!" She laughs so hard that she falls down.
"hahahaha sorry it was too tempting. no, seriously. what happened?"
"well... He kissed me..."
"Oh Jade!!! I knew it though!"
"But I pushed him back."
"And I kissed him back..."
"Aaaah much better!"
"But i pushed him back."
"But Why? Didn't you want to kiss him? Or haven't you felt anything?"
"I did. I wanted to kiss him so badly. But We can't be more than friends."
"Because..." I sigh
"You'll be put on headlines as the girl who wants to date him just to become famous. And You absolutely don't want to be considered as a scrounger. So, you'd rather deny how you feel and hide your Love for Harry into you than telling him the truth and put you both in danger?"
I break down, crying. "This is completely true."
She comes at me and hold me tight into her arms. "Shhhhh..." She echoes me, stroking my hair with her fingertips.
"I like him so much, i'm so afraid to be falling in love with him. I truly don't want to. But we can't control our feelings right? He's so nice and so sensitive. And I care too much about him. I don't want to be apart from him. But the media and the whole people don't let me the choice. I have to keep my feelings for me and don't say anyone..."
"Hey. Jade calm down. Take a breath..." she tries to calm me down but i'm breathless, cut out from any breath. I'm wetting her shoulder with my tears. I hate myself right now. I truly hate to show my weak side. But i need to show it at this very moment.
She raises up my chin in order to face me. She wipes some tears with her thumbs."You have to tell him."
"Jade! You have to! You can't stay unhappy. You have to tell him how you feel."
"Did you just hear what i just said?"
"I completely did. Jade. Trust me. You'll feel better. I can bet 1 hundred million pounds that he waits for you to explain. And he's as lost and confused as you! You both need to put your feelings on tables and say it loud! Okay, you can't be with each other but Love can't be denied. The only way to get over it is to talk about it and find a solution. You both can do it, right?"
I stay quiet, thinking about what Navy just said. She's probably right.
My phones starts ringing. I look at Navy panicked, afraid that the caller may be Harry.
"Jade! It's Simon. We have a small problem..."
"What's going on?" I frowns.
"Nothing big, but the stylist is sick and we have a problem with your outfit for your next wednesday performance. We can't find another stylist for you..."
"OH WAIT! I know someone who can take her place! She has very good taste with clothes!" I wink at Navy.
"Really? Isnt she the one who made your nice outfit on "Where have you been" ?"
"Oh Okay! So, bring her here on Monday and let's see what she can do!"
"Okay! Thanks Simon She'll come!" We hang up and I rush at Navy.
"Oh God! Jade How could you? I can't go I gotta go to the uni !"
"Come on Navy ! You're born to do that!"
She frowns at me. The way she looks at me lets me think that she's about to kill me... Oops...
"Ok! Take off your clothes!"
"Come on Jade! I gotta take your measures!"
"OOOOH! Ok I thought for a second that you wanted to..."
"Oh Jade ! No!!! Erwk!"
We laugh so hard. My stomach hurts. I take off my T-shirt and stay with my bra while Navy's measuring my waist, breast, shoulders with her weird rubber ruler.
After taking my measures. I left her house to go back home. Headphones plugged. I walk down the streets. The sun goes down. I come before a newspaper kiosk. Something catches my attention. I stay still for few seconds noticing that someone i recognize so good, is put on the cover magazine. Harry. I read the catchphrase below the photo of him.
"Harry Styles, the one of the famous British Boys Band ONE DIRECTION, has been spotted leaving a hospital two days ago."
Two days ago? It was when he came at my house and when we had a fight... I remember he told me that everytime he goes back in London he goes there to see the person of the accident. He probably went there after he came up at me.
I try to breath normally and slowly. I took my phone out of my pocket and start to type on it.
Haz. Have you seen the magazines lately? Call me please. J. xx
Hello young YOU !!! Chapter 11 in the place!!!!!! Hope you liked it ! The chapter 12 will be post very soon! Have time to write so... I have more time to post chapters! Sorry this one is a bit short ! The best is yet to come !